Dodger Thoughts revives the Hollywood Stars Game

Getty ImagesSofia Vergara has never faced Bill Murray in an official game – yet.

Apropos of nothing …

I got to thinking the other day about the demise of the Dodgers’ Hollywood Stars game, which actually began fading in importance in my childhood – I’ve never once seen it in person – but has truly crashed on the rocks in the current era. But once upon a time, it was a big deal. In a way, with the Lakers having become the gathering nexus of stars and sports, I’m surprised they haven’t made a celebrity game a tradition.

Anyway, it’s kind of a frivolous topic, but I decided to have some fun trying to come up with rosters that would make me want to come to the game – a lineup that would put some sizzle and some stakes back into the Hollywood Stars game. Here are the ground rules:

  • Each team should have breadth across the decades, dating back at least to players born in the 1950s.
  • Each starting lineup should have at least three women.
  • Each starting lineup should have at least five players who you have reason to believe can half-decently hit, throw and catch.
  • As many players who can both play the game and play to the crowd as possible.
  • There should be one or two players on each team from foreign lands who are inept at baseball but charmingly so.
  • Oh, and the winning team gets $10 million to donate to its favorite charity. The losing team gets $5 million. Don’t worry – I’ve got it covered.

Here are my opening suggestions:

Sandys
Manager: Eli Wallach
Coach: Don Rickles
Captain: Sandy Koufax

Starting lineup
Miranda Cosgrove, C
Kobe Bryant, LF
Jon Hamm, SS
Tom Hanks, 3B
John Kraskinski, RF
Bill Murray, P
Reese Witherspoon, CF
Idris Elba, 1B
Emily Blunt, 2B

Bench
Jeff Bridges, P
Robert Redford, OF
Marisa Tomei, P
Nick Offerman, C
Ron Howard, IF
Danica McKellar, OF
Betty White, PH

Fernandos
Manager: Clint Eastwood
Coach: Ernest Borgnine
Captain: Fernando Valenzuela

Starting lineup
Alyssa Milano, 2B
Blake Griffin, CF
Bryan Cranston, P
Jimmy Kimmel, SS
Sofia Vergara, RF
Brad Pitt, 3B
Louie C.K., C (and for scorekeeping purposes, he should strike out in his first at-bat)
Tom Selleck, 1B
Amy Poelher, LF

Bench:
Will Smith, IF-OF
Anne Hathaway, OF
Zach Galifianakis, C
Mark Harmon, P
Adrianne Palicki, P
Selena Gomez, IF-OF
Mickey Rooney, PH

Broadcaster: Vin Scully

OK, now time for your suggestions. Which players did I miss? Whom would you add, and whom would you cut?

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