Kershaw CCL has arrived

Patrick McElhenney/Fox

By Jon Weisman

It’s probably the least popular and least productive thing I’ve ever done with my life, though I wish it were the most humiliating.

But ever since Clayton Kershaw made his Major League debut, on May 25, 2008, I’ve pictured every subsequent start as if it were a sequel in a blockbuster movie series.

You just had that feeling about Kershaw, from the very beginning, that he was going to be epic.

The first sequel was Kershaw II: The Kershawing. And it went on from there. Mostly downhill.

Tonight, Kershaw reaches career start No. 250. To commemorate the event — and with deepest apologies — here’s the list of all the titles I’ve created.

So many of them are just awful, truly awful. Some, I really don’t know what I was thinking — even by my lowly standards. Some were repeats, with me having forgotten I had used a title already — sometimes within the same month.

But, what’s done is done, and what’s here is here. At least I haven’t cursed him. And I am happy with the quote I used to introduce him before his first big-league game.

Kershaw CCL: Kershawrter Country
Kershaw CCXLIX: Kershaw-ish
Kershaw CCXLVIII: Kershawt. Elsewhere
Kershaw CCXLVII: Kershawg Day Afternoon
Kershaw CCXLVI: Kershawll We Dance?
Kershaw CCXLV: Kershawter Call Saul
Kershaw XXXLIV: Kershawrace and Pete
Kershaw CCXLIII: Kershawtlight
Kershaw CCXLII: The Kershawrtian
Kershaw CCXLI: Kershawverest
Kershaw CCXL: Kershawlliver’s Travels
Kershaw CCXXXIX: Kershawlk the Line
Kershaw CCXXXVIII: Kershawse Party
Kershaw CCXXXVII: Kershawcean’s 11
Kershaw CCXXXVI: Kershawk in the Woods
Kershaw CCXXXV: Kershawgmalion
Kershaw CCXXXIV: Kershaw Little Romance
Kershaw CCXXXIII: Kershaw Me a Hero
Kershaw CCXXXII: Kershawtizen Kane
Kershaw CCXXXI: Kershawma’s Family
Kershaw CCXXX: Kershawdler on the Roof
Kershaw CCXXIX: Kershawnt-Man
Kershaw CCXXVIII: Kershawt Hot American Summer
Kershaw CCXXVII: Kershawne on One
Kershaw CCXXVI: Kershawming to America
Kershaw CCXXV: Kershawneymoon in Vegas
Kershaw CCXXIV: Kershawmer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Kershaw CCXXIII: Kershawlicon Valley
Kershaw CCXXII: Kershawrspray
Kershaw CCXXI: Kershawnational Velvet
Kershaw CCXX: Kershawsablanca
Kershaw CCXIX: (unreleased)
Kershaw CCXVIII: The Kershow with David Letterman
Kershaw CCXVII: The Kershawx-Bow Incident
Kershaw CCXVI: Kershawppy Mother’s Day!
Kershaw CCXV: Kershawzing Saddles
Kershaw CCXIV: Kershawl Blart: Mall Cop 2
Kershaw CCXIII: Kershaw vs. the Volcano
Kershaw CCXII: Kershawrk Tank
Kershaw CCXI: Kershawlicon Valley
Kershaw CCX: (unreleased)
Kershaw CCIX: Kershawll Street Blues
Kershaw CCVIII: Kershawsm Buddies
Kershaw CCVII: Kershawrney Miller
Kershaw CCVI: Kershawffice Space
Kershaw CCV: Kershawstbusters
Kershaw CIV: Kershawzing Arizona
Kershaw CCIII: Kershawsablanca
Kershaw CCII: Kershawrk Passage
Kershaw CCI: The Kershawering Inferno
Kershaw CC: Kershawt Tub Time Machine
Kershaw CXCIX: Kershawr Town
Kershaw CXCVIII: The Kershawcial Network
Kershaw CXCVII: Kershawckford Files
Kershaw CXCVI: Kershawll About Eve
Kershaw CXCV: Kershawppalachian Spring
Kershaw CXCIV: Kershawl Miner’s Daughter
Kershaw CXCIII: Kershawmnibus
Kershaw CXCII: Kershawctify
Kershaw CXCI: Kershaw Kings Go
Kershaw CXC: Kershawll the Right Moves
Kershaw CLXXXIX: Kershawnnie Get Your Gun
Kershaw CLXXXVIII: Kershawvity
Kershaw CLXXXVII: Kershawue Detective
Kershaw CLXXXVI: Kershawlexander
Kershaw CLXXXV: Kershawnger Games: Catching Fire
Kershaw CLXXXIV: Kershawphan Black
Kershaw CLXXXIII: Kershawstralia
Kershaw CLXXXII: Kershawvity Falls
Kershaw CLXXXI: Kershawvity
Kershaw CLXXX: Kershawn Jon
Kershaw CLXXIX: Kershawma Mia
Kershaw CLXXVIII: Kershawns of Navarone
Kershaw CLXXVI: Kershawrks and Recreation
Kershaw CLXXV: Kershawll in the Family
Kershaw CLXXIV: Kershowse Encounters of the Third Kind
Kershaw CLXXIII: Kershawd Couple
Kershaw CLXXII: Kershawky Mountain High
Kershaw CLXXI: Kershawrd Day’s Night
Kershaw CLXX: Kershawperation Petticoat
Kershaw CLXIX: Kershawrknado
Kershaw CLXVIII: Kershawn Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Kershaw CLXVII: Kershawnder the Dome
Kershaw CLXVI: Kershawmp and Circumstance
Kershaw CLXV: Kershawnderama
Kershaw CLXIV: (unreleased)
Kershaw CLXIII: (unreleased)
Kershaw CLXII: Kershawrdergarten Cop
Kershaw CLXI: Kershawjak
Kershaw CLX: Kershawneas and Ferb
Kershaw CLIX: Kershawr Wars
Kershaw CLVIII: Kershawo, Pioneers
Kershaw CLVII: Kershawt in the Hat
Kershaw CLVI: Kershawro Dark Thirty
Kershaw CLV: Kershawp with People
Kershaw CLIV: Kershawnce Upon a Time in America
Kershaw CLIII: Kershawrgo
Kershaw CLII: Kershawvanhoe
Kershaw CLI: Kershawrgo
Kershaw CL: Kershawn the Waterfront
Kershaw CXLIX: (unreleased)
Kershaw CXLVIII: (unreleased)
Kershaw CXLVII: (unreleased)
Kershaw CXLVI: Kershaw Among the Ruins
Kershaw CXLV: Kershawncle Bill the Sailor
Kershaw CXLIV: Kershawchtung Baby
Kershaw CXLIII: Kershawrvest Time
Kershaw CXLII: Kershawleanna
Kershaw CXLI: Kershaw Vie en Rose
Kershaw CXL: Kershawn Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Kershaw CXXXIX: Kershawtime at the Apollo
Kershaw CXXXVIII: Kershamen Corner
Kershaw CXXXVII: Kershuwnger Games
Kershaw CXXXVI: Kershawmdog Millionaire
Kershaw CXXXV: Kershawma Lama Ding Dong
Kershaw CXXXIV: Kershawn Golden Pond
Kershaw CXXXIII: Kershawctupus’ Garden
Kershaw CXXXII: Kershawn the Waterfront
Kershaw CXXXI: KershaR2D2
Kershaw CXXX: Kershawtter Pops
Kershaw CXXIX: Kershawl of Me
Kershaw CXXVIII: Kershmokey and the Bandit
Kershaw CXXVII: (unreleased)
Kershaw CXXVI: Kershaw I Met Your Mother
Kershaw CXXV: Kershnakes on a Plane
Kershaw CXXIV: Kershawpolitan
Kershaw CXXIII: Kershmeatballs
Kershaw CXXII: Kershawut of Africa
Kershaw CXXI: KershawSI
Kershaw CXX: Kershawrvin Gardens
Kershaw CXIX: Kershawstakovich
Kershaw CXVIII: Kershawmazing Grace
Kershaw CXVII: Kerhsawrfegnugen
Kershaw CXVI: Kershawpalong Cassidy
Kershaw CXV: Kershawp on Pop
Kershaw CXIV: Kershowpe Floats
Kershaw CXIII: Kershawpollo 13
Kershaw CXII: Kershawmedeus
Kershaw CXI: Kershawld Man River
Kershaw CX: Kershomon
Kershaw CIX: Kershawl in the Family
Kershaw CVIII: Kershawp in the Air
Kershaw CVII: (unreleased)
Kershaw CVI: Kersharrrrgh!
Kershaw CV: Kershawmedeus
Kershaw CIV: Kershawrks and Recreation
Kershaw CIII: Kersharmageddon and the Deathly Hollows
Kershaw CII: Kershawneyball
Kershaw CI: Kershaweois Gentilhomme
Kershaw C: Kersh of the Titans
Kershaw XCIX: Kershawl the President’s Men
Kershaw XCVIII: Kershawl That Heaven Will Allow
Kershaw XCVII: Kershawpular Mechanics
Kershaw XCVI: Kershawft
Kershaw XCV: Kershawnal Best
Kershaw XCIV: Kershawlotte’s Web
Kershaw XCIII: Kershawl We Are Saying, Is Give Peace a Chance
Kershaw XCII: Kersh-sh-sh-sh-sh Changes
Kershaw XCI: Kershawppy Mother’s Day
Kershaw XC: (unreleased)
Kershaw LXXXIX: Kershawlistic Medicine
Kershaw LXXXVIII: Kershawtel California
Kershaw LXXXVII: Kershawrlan County, U.S.A.
Kershaw LXXXVI: Kershawlandaise Sauce
Kershaw LXXXV: Kershawberry Muffin
Kershaw LXXXIV: Kershopening Day Game Chat
Kershaw LXXXIII: Kershawteau Marmont
Kershaw LXXXII: Kershawpscotch
Kershaw LXXXI: Kershawctupus
Kershaw LXXX: Kershawt wheels
Kershaw LXXIX: Kershawquaman
Kershaw LXXVIII: (unreleased)
Kershaw LXXVII: Kershaw, Snap!
Kershaw LXXVI: Kershawnna Karenina
Kershaw LXXV: Kershawne on you crazy diamond
Kershaw LXXIV: Kershasta McNasty
Kershaw LXXIII: Kershawl of Me
Kershaw LXXII: Kershawmpty Dumpty
Kershaw LXXI: Kershawt and a beer
Kershaw LXX: Kershawt Tub Time Machine
Kershaw LXIX: Kershallow Grave
Kershaw LXVIII: Kershawk jock
Kershaw LXVII: O Kershaw, Curtain, Lights
Kershaw LXVI: Kershawpoly
Kershaw LXV: Kershawnee, Indiana
Kershaw LXIV: Kershaw Knight Pulliam
Kershaw LXIII: Kershawt My Dad Says
Kershaw LXII: Kershawrmor All
Kershaw LXI: Kershawrms and the Man
Kershaw LX: Kershawlsbury Hill
Kershaw LIX: Kershaws Clay
Kershaw LVIII: Kershawmmie dearest
Kershaw LVII: Kershawww, freak out!
Kershaw LVI: (unreleased)
Kershaw LV: Kershawk-infested waters
Kershaw LIV: Kershaw the Frog
Kershaw LIII: Kershawme Opener
Kershaw LII: There’s No Business Like Kershaw Business
Kershaw LI: (unreleased)
Kershaw L: Kershawlk to the animals
Kershaw XLIX: Kershaws
Kershaw XLVIII: Kershome run derby
Kershaw XLVII: Kershawpple Dumpling Gang
Kershaw XLVI: Kershawlly olly oxen free
Kershaw XLV: Kershawlly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here
Kershaw XLIV: Kershawvinist pigs!
Kershaw XLIII: Kershawk Full o’ Nuts
Kershaw XLII: (unreleased)
Kershaw XLI: Kershawk treatment
Kershaw XL: Drive Kershow, Putt for Dough
Kershaw XXXIX: Kershow Gabba Gabba
Kershaw XXXVIII: Kershawrky’s Machine
Kershaw XXXVII: Kershawt Through the Heart
Kershaw XXXVI: Kershawp ’Til You Drop
Kershaw XXXV: Kershawppy Father’s Night
Kershaw XXXIV: Kershalways Be Closing
Kershaw XXXIII: Kershawt Heard ‘Round the World
Kershaw XXXII: Kershawva Nagila
Kershaw XXXI: Kershawt People Got No Reason
Kershaw XXX: Kershawffice Space
Kershaw XXIX: Kershawrk Attack
Kershaw XXVIII: Kershampoo
Kershaw XXVII: Kershantilly Lace
Kershaw XXVI: Kershey’s Kisses
Kershaw XXV: Kershawt in the Dark
Kershaw XXIV: Kershawffle off to Buffalo
Kershaw XXIII: Kersham-Wow
Kershaw XXII: (unreleased)
Kershaw XXI: Kershama Lama Ding Dong
Kershaw XX: Kershane, Come Back Kershane
Kershaw XIX: Kershawrp Dressed Man
Kershaw XVIII: Kershawnterbury Tales
Kershaw XVII: Kershawt in the Dark
Kershaw XVI: Kershawnce To Dream
Kershaw XV: Kershawn of the Dead
Kershaw XIV: Kershawl We Dance?
Kershaw XIII: Kershawp Around the Corner
Kershaw XII: Kerdyshawck
Kershaw XI: Manny I
Kershaw X: Kershaq Fu
Kershaw IX: Kershawk the Monkey
Kershaw VIII: Kershaw Me the Money
Kershaw VII: Kershaw Na Na Na, Sha Na Na Na Na Na
Kershaw VI: Kershaw’s, Foiled Again?
Kershaw V: (unreleased)
Kershaw IV: Kershawshank Redemption
Kershaw III: Kershawker
Kershaw II: The Kershawing
Kershaw