Today’s Instagram post by Vin Scully has shaken me.

Vin’s ability to find the inspirational note in any situation is legendary. It’s part of his persona. It’s part of what separated him from any other secular broadcaster.  

It’s no surprise that this week, with the passing of his wife and of Tommy Lasorda, he is struggling to find that place. Make no mistake — I would be on the floor, gasping for air. 

I’m sure it doesn’t help that a country that he cares for so deeply has found itself in such distress. Vin’s day-to-day politics don’t dovetail with mine, but that doesn’t mean we don’t come from our different perspectives to cherish democracy and what this country can stand for. 

I just see his post and I see Vin suffering, and to say it breaks my heart doesn’t come close to capturing the feeling. It’s the idea that if Vin is in pain, I want to take his pain on. I wish I could provide him the comfort that he has provided me for so long. 

For my entire life, Vin has shown himself to be more capable of absorbing and processing pain than I am. He finds comfort in a religious faith that I lack. He has endured the kind of suffering, including the loss of his first wife and his son in the primes of their lives, that is an unimaginable nightmare to me. And he has always carried on with strength, eloquence and grace. 

He is, as he has always been, my role model. 

Now, I feel, he has opened up to us in a way that deserves not only our condolences but our admiration. It is a reason to stop and close our eyes and reflect and breathe purely on his behalf. 

As Vin retired in 2016, he said more than once to his legions of fans, “I have always felt that I needed you far more than you needed me.” Each time those words came out, I laughed. I felt he was wrong as he could ever be. Obviously, Vin has been such a wellspring of life and joy to so many of us, it was ridiculous on its face to suggest we could reciprocate. 

Today’s the first time I’ve felt differently. And I only wish we could make the kind of difference in his life that he made in ours. 

Vin, my thoughts are with you. My heart is with you. I can’t imagine that means much, but it’s the truth.