Dodger Thoughts

Jon Weisman's outlet for dealing psychologically with the Los Angeles Dodgers, baseball and life

Category: Sheltered

Sheltered, Part 8: What does a college freshman do in 2020-21?

Quiet on the campus where I spent my freshman year.

This is a topic that is personal to my family, but I don’t think it’s unique. 

Believe it or not, Young Miss Weisman, who was born three months after Dodger Thoughts was founded in 2002, is headed out of state to college this fall. At least, that’s what we thought a month ago. 

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Sheltered, Part 7: ‘And Walker doesn’t know how many outs!’

Sheltering in place has always been a way of life for Misty.

The last time someone outside my family was in our house was March 13.

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Sheltered, Part 6: There used to be a ballclub right here

Dodger Stadium, September 2015 (Photo: Jon Weisman)

I remember the Dodgers.

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Sheltered, Part 5:
Unlocked

Writing these “Sheltered” posts helped clear my head. This afternoon, I made some headway hacking through the dry brush of notes on the first draft of my novel to begin carving a plan of action for the second draft.  

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Sheltered, Part 4:
Don’t forget the joy

Some of my current angst is rooted in the novel I began working on almost 20 months ago. 

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Sheltered, Part 3:
The morning after

I take a risk when I write at night, especially when I write a personal piece.

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Sheltered, Part 2:
I’ve been running

I love long walks.

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Sheltered, Part 1:
The why

#flatteningtheclyde

I want to say something, but it’s less about the what than the why.

What I’m going to tell you won’t be anything you need to know. It goes back, as it always does, to this core dilemma: I have feelings, and I want them to be heard. I want them to be felt, even if they don’t matter. 

What’s different now? Less distraction, maybe? I don’t have a commute. That is time I’ve filled with exercise — walks and short runs and sit-ups — rather than writing. But never not thinking. 

What’s the same, but maybe more pronounced, are feelings of inadequacy. We are living through the singular event of my 52 years. How am I rising to the occasion? By following the best instructions for hiding. 

I have one skill, which is to arrange words into thoughts, and I haven’t been using it. It doesn’t help that the Dodgers aren’t playing, but then again, the Dodgers aren’t relevant. It doesn’t help that I’m at the very, very beginning of turning the first draft of my novel into a second draft, and I’m feeling intimidated by the work. 

I’m jealous of people who are producing. I’m jealous of people who are relevant. I’m a jealous person. 

If I focus on my family, I’m fine. I’m grateful. I’m grounded. But my mind wanders, to very specific places. 

We are living in a life or death world, and I don’t want to be silent. 

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